Health care bill

Yes, my Republican friends, even though you have opposed this health care bill, we’ve made sure it is going to cover you, too, in your time of need. I know you’re upset right now. I know you probably think that if you did get wiped out by an illness, or thrown out of your home because of a medical bankruptcy, that you would somehow pull yourself up by your bootstraps and survive. I know that’s a comforting story to tell yourself, and if John Wayne were still alive I’m sure he could make that into a movie for you.

But the reality is that these health insurance companies have only one mission: To take as much money from you as they can — and then work like demons to deny you whatever coverage and help they can should you get sick.

So, when you find yourself suddenly broadsided by a life-threatening illness someday, perhaps you’ll thank those pinko-socialist, Canadian-loving Democrats and independents for what they did Sunday evening.

If it’s any consolation, the thieves who run the health insurance companies will still get to deny coverage to adults with pre-existing conditions for the next four years. They’ll also get to cap an individual’s annual health care reimbursements for the next four years. And if they break the pre-existing ban that was passed last night, they’ll only be fined $100 a day! And, the best part? The law will require all citizens who aren’t poor or old to write a check to a private insurance company. It’s truly a banner day for these corporations.

So don’t feel too bad. You’re a long way from universal health care. Over 15 million Americans will still be uncovered — and that means about 15,000 will still lose their lives each year because they won’t be able to afford to see a doctor or get an operation. But another 30,000 will live. I hope that’s ok with you.

Pirate Bay

I was reading today in the paper, that soon downloading free music will become illegal and some internet providers will cut or slow down the connection speed.

I think this is awfull, the EU has declared that access to the internet is a basic human right now, and this government with the backing of wealthy buisnessmen are bringing in this repressive law.

In my view, this will do far more damage to their fans, this is just another case of the government limiting our freedoms................

Anti-Christ

Well, i did promise i would review this film. To start of, i wouldn't recommend this film to people who are sensitive.

Its a horror directed by Lars Von Trier, whos directed films like dogville and manderlay, so you can guess this film isnt going to be a walk in the park.

Firstly i think the cinematography is superb in this film, the film starts of with the death of an infant child, whos parents are played by William Dafoe anc Charlotte Gainsburg, after this horrific even they go off to their woodland cabin, to help repair things between them.

But as you can probably guess, things take a sinister turn, there is evil afoot in the woodland. Overall i actually really enjoyed this film, however there are many scenes that would probably cause people some distress, so watch this with an open mind and a strong stomach, i give this a 7 out of 10.

American Beauty

My depression, this weekend has been on a holiday.

I'm a bit apprehensive about going back up north for the summer, theres a differance between Chorley and London!

I was thinking this weekend, that how people seem to be reluctant to have an opinion, i much prefer people with strong opinions than people who bore me to death. Even if its totally differant to what i think, just to hear people say what they really think is what i look for in someone.

Tonight i'm going to watch Antichrist by Lars von trier, so i'll write a review of it tomorrow.

I do hope my depression stays away, but i know it'll probably come back eventually.

This one is for my wonderfull mother, who does everything for me, she means the world and more to me, she brought me into this world and i'am still ever so gratefull, even know i may not show it. One truly wonderfull women........

The Modern tate

I took a trip to the tate modern today, i really liked it, but especially the exhibition on vienesse actionism, i really like how they push the boundries of the taboo, i think its real fascinating.

Below are some more tamer pictures, but if you are interested you can see some of the more interesting pieces on google: -

This movement really came in the 1960's and 1970's were artists used their bodies for art and for performance, they are probably most famous for depictions of brutal images of blood and dead animals, i would put some more on here, but i dont want to get banned! but please do check it out, i find it really interesting. Not for the squemish!

I love Secularism

I was thinking today, that how certain religions seem to hate secularism.I see this as a pointless way of thinking, if this country was not secular, just think how much harder peoples lifes would be.

God would be called into areas of society that religious zelots should not go, i like to see people have the freedom to practice whatever religion they want to. Secularism is the best friend of religion, just think if we were in a one religion state, how repressive and how un"democratic" it would be.

I think its a good thing people have the option to live in sin, if they so wish. People come to this country for freedom, away from repressive one religion state. This stems really from a great programme i happened to catch on radio 4 the other day.

Do check this link out, it will be worth while

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00r7lpv/Lent_Talks_Maajid_Nawaz/

Oh and the running is going good too, i depressed myself yesterday, i cant help but see the future in a negative way, i dont know why i do this, i just wish i didn't, and i do wish i could just be more positive.

and i'm kinda addicted to this: -

The running man

Recently the weather in London has been really spring like, which makes me really happy, i'm not a big rain person.

I've taken running up again, which is really good, one it helps me mentally and two its just great to be out and get fit. so i ran with my house mate rob today which was fun, its funny how people look at you when your running especially in london, i'm sure they think we will mug them.

Things are coming to an end for me in London this year, its gone so fast and i'm really proud of myself for getting through it!

As per usual, i'm going to go off on a political tangent here, but i think its so interesting what the guardian says: -

The US is facing a surge in anti-government extremist groups and armed militias, driven by deepening hostility on the right to Barack Obama, anger over the economy, and the increasing propagation of conspiracy theories by parts of the mass media such as Fox News.


The Southern Poverty Law Centre, the US's most prominent civil rights group focused on hate organisations, said in a report that extremist "patriot" groups "came roaring back to life" last year as their number jumped nearly 250% to more than 500 with deepening ties to conservative mainstream politics.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/mar/04/us-surge-rightwing-extremist-groups

bye folks.............................

Run Forest Run

Today has been a good day, i sorted my rent out, which makes me happy and relieved. I hate how the housing people here just wanna make as much money from you as possible, it sickens me, when they know we are poor students. Where are the morales?

i've started running today and i kinda feel good about London today, things are starting to look a bit better.

for now....................................................

By the way my posts will get more interesting trust me, i just felt like i should write, otherwise i would forget!

Spring sunshine

Sorry for not writing sooner, well just to set the scene, listening to midlake in a darkened room, just watched the moon and no country for old men, both superb films i have to say.

Its unreal how much stress i'm under at the moment, with regards to my rent, the story so far, they've said i can pay of £150 which will take me to half way mark, but i need the relevant documents to do this, which are still in the north, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkk.

So i may be worrying too much about this, but it is on my mind, and i just wanna sort it out, its getting to me now and i just wish it wasnt the case, hopefully they wont come and chuck me out anytime soon, i do hope not.

for now....................................

Girls, Girls, Girls

Have you ever been in the mood, where you just hate everything and anyone? well i'am in that mood right now.

Thanks to a certain person, who i've tried so hard with things and put all my effort and they've been very hurtfull.

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.

Oily skin

Sorry for not frequently posting this week! i haven't done a great deal this week, other than university, and i'm sure that doesn't make very good reading.

I posted a note on facebook just to create some discussion and thought, and i must admit the reactions are the best, and reading peoples thoughts on a subject are rather amusing. oh well such is facebook i guess.

Other news, i haven't yet got a guitar, i'm a bit apprehensive buying a guitar, if a few weeks down the line i get bored with it, so watch this space really.

Thirdly, i'm really giving much thought to a masters degree, but i just hope mentally i can cope with such a change, with regards to my depression, i guess its one of those things that i'll find out closer to the time.

so worried about my rent :(

Here endeth my post.........

O Superman

Todays been an okay day, better than the weekend which is a major plus! I borrowed a guitar from a friend of mine, so i thought i would go and attempt to try some tabs, well i tried the first tab and i was totally lost on it, so i thought i would go on good old youtube and see what that has to offer, there where some good films but i just couldnt make my little stubby fingers stretch that far!

i know you have to practice loads but i feel this may be too much, so rethinking the idea of playing guitar.............................

As per usual i'm going to go off on something totally differant and go onto glenn beck, what a tool this guy is, thats it i can't say anymore other than go take a look at these:

http://www.photius.com/rankings/healthranks.html

Hibernation

I'm thinking about taking up guitar, i really think it will help, take my mind of things, in particular the sadness. I've been listening to a wonderfull singer called Charity Mondok, but i can't find a video to post.......... but click on this link and type her name in and experiance such warmth coming from you speakers, her voice is really sweet and she has such a lovely sound.

www.grooveshark.com

I hope i haven't put you off her too much!

I've pretty much been in hibernation for the majority of this weekend, i've had no energy to do anything especially socialise, i seem to becoming more inward looking as the days go by.

Actually the highlight of my week will be to get a cheap guitar, i'm so eager just to occupy my lonely evenings with something fun to do, i want to learn Fleet Foxes - Mykonos song firstly and just practice and practice after that.

I'm thankful for the little things that friends do, like give you a call, text you, i may not show it but it does mean alot to me.

mmmmmmmmmmmmm olympic games..................................................................enjoy the music too!

Monkey Love making

Well i've totally forgotten about my rent which was rather splendid, but at the moment just having a generally poor day! I'm due to go to salsa tonight, but part of my line is out, so basically it makes getting there and back even more tricky and i try and avoid the night busses if i can help - i'll explain why i try and avoid them on a later post.

I was thinking today, as a crazy guy was singing ray charles on the bus, whether my life really is bad, i do often harp on about how bad it is, but then i look at some people who arent so fortunate and i think yep i'm pretty lucky.

But why oh why, will my feelings not feel that way, why is it that when i have a good weekend with friends, i go home feeling really really down, even when theres nothing wrong happened i feel down! argghhhhhhh its so annoying right now.

Things could be worse right?!....................................

oh oh spaghettios

i have a real urge, when i'm drinking to bite on the glass or even break it...........................





I think i'm going through a phase of enjoying people get hurt in slightly comical ways.

and why the heckety heck did someone tag me on this.

Its a hard knock life!

I woke up to a lovely call by the police asking me to talk about what happened on sunday and then i thought i would check my email, and there it was, a email from the finance office.
They wanted me to pay a huge amount of money that would of eaten up all my loans to pay for my rent, i dutifully paid some of it, but kept the rest so i can actually live. Now the want the rest, but i have sent them an email saying they will just, have to wait till my next loan comes through.

I hate the fact that as a student you try and better yourself and the country you live in, but at every corner you get penalised, i really hope the finance office are understanding, for some reason i sincerly doubt this, just when i thought this week couldnt get any worse, it just did ten fold. This isn't really helping me with my depression and i just feel really trapped and scared about the future.

On a brighter note i'm spending sometime with friends tonight, i'm cooking a cottage pie and bread and butter pudding, i was really excitied but now i just want to go into a deep hibernation and never wake up again............................................................................

I hate Twilight

The week that was...........

Well my last blog was not a particularly up-beat and i do try and keep things a bit happy, one it helps me with my problems and two i guess no one really wants to hear depressing stuff.

My goal is to document stuff more and post it onto my blog, i have only 8 followers, so i thank you for reading my posts, please spread the word!

"All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible". William Faulkner

Saltwater

I never knew life could be such a total bitch, the cherry on the cake was today when i got robbed at church. Of all the places church would be pretty low down on the scale of things. okay they only took my card and student card, but its the straw that broke the camels back, to know someone has your identity its really horrible.

The guy went on a stealing spree, took someones laptop and phone, its the worst form of crime in my opinion, its not what i need at this time, life is so hard for me at the moment and to have this worry and burden its killing me.

I really want to have an adventure, go somewhere and forget about things, do something totally random and just be happy again, i really want to do that, so badly, just do something interesting, i look at other people's lifes and wonder if mine will ever be as interesting as theirs.

I just want to get away from london, this country just everything and live a little, i've figured london is a rude place, people really don't give a toss about the next person, there are certain things i would miss about london, one being the friends and two the fashion and music scene, but i just feel like i dont fit down here, i feel to sociable, i do wish i was still back in the 1950's where things seemed easier and rosier! okay that may be looking at things with rose tainted spectacles, but that thought is keeping me going.

At least i have decent friends and people who are actually really genuine around me, thats a good point, but even then i just see that somehow they will no longer be my friends as i feel like i irritate and disgust a few people. Why has life suddenly got a lot harder?

well for now dear reader, may you have the fondest of dreams..........................

Matisyahu

Just thought to plug this guy, i love his sound, its so good! i really cant get enough of it at the moment!



Have a good day guys!

Summer time

I was thinking of my time in Texas last summer, and out there i met a truly wonderful women, it was a real good time, and i really liked her, but anyway i'll get to my point.

Before i break up for uni, i get my student loan, and was wondering whether i should fly out there and spend a summer with her, i hate getting attached to people, but she has always stayed on my mind and i just think i wonder what will happen if i go out, neither of us can really move on as we can't stop thinking about each other.

Sorry if this is sounding bit of teenage angst, even know i'm not a teenager, i just not so sure on what to do, i will think about it in the next few days.

Part of a unplanned story by me

I can feel myself slipping from this life, the storms are gathering, not in the world outside my bleak window but inside my mind. I lay in this room; all my life is in this one room in this one generic looking building.
The bleakness of this life has come to be prevalent, people rushing to control ones life to expect things of it. This anguish that has beset my heart, is turning it into a brittle piece of ice, I taste no sweetness that was once love. It has all gone, gone to the utter darkness of my mind.

I’ am, dear reader, an impoverished student of this corrupt world that we inhabit. I live from one day to another, trying like the rest of us not to communicate with anyone else that we see. The possibilities of meeting people that will run away with our feelings, that will give ones life meaning and love, enrich it beyond anything man can measure, is all lost within hatred and a deep fear of the unknown. I sit on the loud, dirty underground, looking at people who use all of their energy not talking. We are all in this darkness, only broken by glimpses of light. They sit on chairs next to one another; they try ever so hard not to break a smile or commit the worst behaviour ever and to talk. I feel lonely and lost in the most populated city in the country.

The grey skies that forsake this wretched piece of land has sunk deep into my heart, I’am in love, but I cannot taste that sweetness of love, the yearning for one another’s embrace has left. I remember the days were I loved regardless, I was joyful, my body tingled and felt truly alive, I look for a better future outside into the dank view of London.

Thinking about the future

Well, today has been a day of thinking about the future, i'm kinda contemplating doing a masters, so its all very adult like at the moment. you'll be glad to know i have resumed normal service with regards to my diet of chocolate peanuts, i just cant resist there chocolatly goodness.Ah you really wish you had my life right? kinda moving onto something a bit more differant now are some songs that i'm listening to at the moment : -
- Aimme mann - Real bad news
- Eskimo joe - London bombs
- Bob dylan - in my time of dyin
- Michelle blades - After words
- Phil ochs - William Moore

If only mcdonalds advertised like this, i know i have just brought the whole level of this blog down, but it did me a giggle and thats a good thing right?

Marriage, Haiti and london

Well this is my first post in about a weeks time, i have been awfully busy fraternising with friends and traveling to the land of the north.


This weekend was the wedding of my good friend joe mcmorn, it was a really nice wedding and just how i imagined it would be, i'm so happy that he's married, however a part of me just feels like its a part of my life gone, i know i'm still young in life, but i just cant help but think that i'm going to be the only one not getting to these major goals in life, is that normal or am i just over-thinking things again?

I have to admit i nearly cried a few times during the wedding, just to see a good mate whos been with you through thick and thin being so happy with someone is a great thing, oh well who knows what destiny has instore for me, but i do wish i could have a preview.





Onto my second part of my thought, last week i discussed briefly with some friends about Haiti, i was reading in a newspaper the other day about how the national debt for haiti is something well into the billion doller mark and how western countries refuse to wipe that clear for them, so they can build a succesful country, but yet easily help out some greedy banker, whos lost peoples jobs and got the country in the red. I just find it really sickening that leaders cant do that for humanity, instead rather doing it for bankers.





And thirdly, sorry guys for being so long this time, but i'm currently looking for places to live for next year, i have one in mind but i just don't want to pin my hopes on that, any ideas or suggestions would be rather good! oh and below is a picture made by my artistic friend called Angus Dick and a video i really like! so for now dear reader, sleep well..........................

The rutting of the stags weekend

It was my good friends stag this weekend and he decided to take us paintballing, it was my first time ever doing such a thing! Paintballing is a great way to feel some pain, both in your wallet and physically. The place was called "Delta Force" and it was somewhere in chesire, and we had 6 games through out the day of various strategic plays.

However i sooned found out that no strategy was required, just much bravery and a lack of personal safety, one thing to mention here is how sore it is if you get hit somewhere where theres nothing protecting your skin.

I got hit twice on my fingerless glove hand, and it was a freezing day, so it hurt even more! the swelling is just going down, but thats nothing in comparison to what some of my friends especially the stag went through. These small balls of paint travel at over 100mph, so if you get hit you know about it, thankfully if it hids your head, its not so painfull.

This guy pictured isnt obviously playing as he has open skin, it really is sore if you get hit with clothes on, but saying all that is a fun game, what killed it for me doing it again is how expensive it is, once your in that place the way its set up is perfect to rob you of your money!

Well this weekend its my best mate wedding, and its a happy part of his life, however this weekend has been incredibly hard, i've struggled through some problems and at some points it has gotten dire, but i'am so thankfull for having people that care and know what i'm going through, i was desperare this weekend and things could of been a lot worse if i didnt have those people.

I just want to thank them from the bottom of my heart and you know who you are, your all so lovely and i woul do anything i could for you my friends!

Pork Pies and no money

I have suddenly got a penchant for pork farms original pork pie, they were only £1 in the local tesco express, and they filled me up so much, now i'm started to get a bit porked out, i would have that for main course and then dessert would be chocolate peanuts!

Who says student life is boring! not with my diet, ha.

Well i'm back up in the north this weekend, to my dismay, i enjoy seeing tania and its my best friend stag do, which will be really nice, but chorley doesnt have depress me! and i rather like london, even know its expensive and rude.

But anyhoo, i'm going to download loads of indie travel podcasts ready for the 6 hour journey back (btw thats the same time to get to texas on a plane) oh well i like seeing the scenary and the people you see and hopefully talk to on the coach!

Student culture

hi all

Hope you like the new setup i have!

Well tonight at my uni is fabric night! and i must be one of the few students not going from the halls, and i'm glad to be honest. I really don't get the whole drinking thing, it wastes money and makes you unhealthy so why do it?

I know i eat loads of chocolate and i do other thing that arent the best for me, but i really want to keep hold of my sense when i go out, it's my view that binge drinking and the acceptance for all policy at university is reducing the quality of graduates. I recognise that student through out time have had a history of heavy drinking but, i'm sure they are a much more intelligent lot!

The feeling i get very often is you dont often see an intelligista drnking 10 pints of stella on a regular basis, anywhere else in society it would be considered as alcoholism, but in this one, the society seems to glorify binge drinking, like its a must thing to do. I've often heard of students saying to me, "oh you need to drink to have fun"

Are these people such zombies that they need drink to be sociable? how do they cope having fun without alcohol, my gosh they seem like fun people.

I'am of course widely generalizing, and these are just my thoughts about things, feel free to disagree with them!

Radio 6

Well i just thought i would post something a bit more cheery!

I stumbled upon radio 6 just before christmas and if your my friend then 95% of the time you'll be into the same music as i, well this station is right up my street, its a blend of new indie, folk any sort of music you can think of, and whats even better is the presenters know their music and you can tell it.

So in short you all should lend your ears to this fabulous radio show!

www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/ and go for radio 6!

A weekend with the wild things!

well well dear reader, what a manic weekend this has been! started of with getting up at a time that doesnt exist on a saturday morning to meet my fellow blogger emily meade and my drawer, film critic amigo angus dick and the poetress that is rachel gorden.

We went to see where the wild things are, which is a pretty special film, capturing a childhood with all its pains and problems, but having enough sweetness to give you a warm glow! The whole filming of it is just the best, its not so perfect as all these CGI films, and you can tell, but i think this is a real plus and not a negative!

Well after the movie we kinda wondered back to the tube station, where our adventure began. i've probably done the most traveling this weekend just in london ever, it felt like one epic journey and by the time i was at golders green tube station, i was tired, cold, hungry and just felt like crying!

The party was good, however i always feel like a crap dancer hahah, oh well sometimes you gotta push yourself out of the comfort zone to experiance the sweetness of life.

I think i need to do that more, i'm not really tasting the sweetness, rather the bitterness of life and money worries! I sometimes feel like i'm not really keeping my head above the water, i dont know if you the reader feels the same, but for me i just wanna be somewhere that i feel comfortable in.

Oh well i think i'm tired and down, but i love spending time with real people who have real likes and interests, none of this fake stuff you get, i havent known them for long but hopefully its the start of a great friendship! well this is me for the night, good night reader.............................................................................

Salsa!!!!!!!!!

Well on a much more lighter not, today i thought i would tell you my experiance of this dance! rather than do my actual work! but i'm sure you will appreciate that!

I think i first got into salsa with two german girls strangly enough, we went to the copacabbana club in the northern quarter of manchester. The first time you go its like stepping into south america straight away, it was good because i remeber that night it was raining heavily and me and the others got soaked, so none of us looked our best. Below is the picture of the club

but anyway, there we were in a salsa club, missed the lessons so i didnt have a clue on what to do! so i just improvised and i felt bit of an idiot, ever since then i've wanted to take it up.

I confess i'm not a master by any means at it and sometimes my confidence does go when i see true talent, but i can dance and to me its a good things, theres something about dancing with another person, that small time with someone where words doesn't matter but your dance does, to use a cheesy word "magical".

I've found this nice little place in camden town that does some good tapas and the dance is pretty good too, so why not for your new year goals do something out of your comfort zone!

War and love

I saw this image, or well a similiar one in the metro the other day, same context of a soldier crying as their fellow soldiers where repatriated. It struck home how wrong this war is and what its doing to our country. The reason why we're in afghanistan changes as does the seasons, at one point it was because we needed to liberate the stricken women and then it was to stop drugs.

Now its just becoming a killing fest for the taliban, all this is producing islamphobia, hatred and death and its just not nice. The worst thing is that young guys my age are being sacrificed for something that isnt going to work, its a real big tragedy in life that we as humans seem never to learn.

Well, i've been deeply in love dear reader with a girl i knew well, but things have happened and i think i'm losing my grip on things, its killing me, i loved her so much and i would give my heart 100 times over to her, we've just had an argument and she isnt answering are anything, i feel totally lost and stuck as what to do. I feel like i'm in a dark room and just have no way in getting out, maybe its onset depression that i've been feeling.

Either way i feel not myself, and this has been going on for a few months, i can talk candidly about this, as i'm not fussed about who reads this, the nights are often the worst, were my worries and anxieties haunt me like a curse, its like cancer, its slowly eating away at what i call "me". I just dont know what to do, i feel all the sadness taking hold of me right now, the black tar is engulfing me and i'm trying to keep my head above the water...........................................................

Memento mori

I'm writing this from my home in chorley, which a small typically northern town. Most of the houses are very uniformed and in this bleak weather are very bleak likewise. However as i live in london, which is in another world to chorley, i do miss the personality of it. The helpfullness of the local inhabitants and the little signs of appreciation that you recieve from a stranger, makes you feel valued and known.

As much as i love london you just don't get that there, even to break into a smile could be seen as an act of a crazy person. Its one of the most populated cities in europe if not the world, but yet i cant help but feel isolated and away from everyone.

At this point, i should tell the reader, that i'am writing this in a time that i have money (thanks to the government), so i have a whole world open to me, simply because i have money. I've learned in the few months i've been in london, that money is life, without this need, its imposible for one to be sociable as you need money to do the simpliest of things. I find myself turning down night outs and social events simply because i dont have any money. Money allows you to be happy, it gives you chance to move to places, see things, even be a student, without no money, the whole worry of a lack of it for me simply stops this passion to study.

if you know me well, you'll know that i'am a proud socialist, so you're probably thinking why am i expressing that money is the root of all happiness, and of course at the same time for evil too. To live in this world, to have lack of money means an ever-present consciousness of failure, above all it means loneliness.

This is probably a depressing read for many of you, but this is what we have to do in this society, money is the new religion whether or not we like that, there are two mantras with this new religion "thou shalt make money" and "thou shal work to earn money".

There are of course, things in life that do make you happy, and i fully know that, but you think of the things that do make you happy and i can gurantee that money is involved in that. I do, however know that a society without money, will just find another object to put extreme value on. But i object to the, huge yoke that money gives, why should you go into huge debts for getting a better life? for helping your economy, which eventually we will all be slaves to.

After all thats the whole point of being here, is to provide workers for the dirty machine that is the economy.

Well here endeth my rant, i guess thats life, and somehow i just got to get used to it, just like winston in my name sake book of 1984.